I did it.
I signed the papers and shook the hands. The place is mine.
The only hitch is that the old (I love saying that) owners haven't set a firm move-in date to their new place. But they paid me rent until April 30th 23:59. That was a nice check. They might move out earlier, which would be nice.
Now I just have to buy a car. Tomorrow ;-)
Dammit. Why me.
Notice that there is no question mark on that main line. Ezekial, if you're reading this. Stop. Please, this isn't for you.
It's been a rather sureal 3 months. Started in January when I went to a wedding with an old flame. We've been sorta-friends since the actual relationship went down the tubes. For me it was always with a lot of regret and self-guilt.
Do I love her still? Yes, a part of me always will. Do I want a permanent relationship with her? No. I've learned a few things in the last month that turn my stomache. Unfortunately, I'm not very shallow. There's a piece of my heart that still is in a pretzle shape because of her. I'm sure it always will be. In January, I pinned my heart to my sleeve and told her my feelings. I crashed and burned. But I played my heart for better or worse.
Here's the problem. She's completely fallen for this guy and it isn't going well. Now she's asking my advise on her personal life. She's going home this week for spring break and is pinning over this guy she met over x-mas which later didn't work out. Tonight she led me into a discussion that got me playing the part of the "best friend" trying to calm her down.
This morning (yeah, I edited this) I saw that she posted the following comment on her Blog: "It's funny I told Lance about my 'have a wonderful life' message and he said 'so, you said that to me a few times and we're friends after 3+ years.' hehe, yeah, I think that applys to a few of my close friends" What I didn't tell her is that the only reason I haven't cut ties is that in January I made a promise that I would be her friend forever. In retrospect ... well, I don't know if that was a mistake or not. Time will tell.
Added to this is that I know that several other of her male friends have broken contact. Her choice on them ... as usual.
Anyway, I'm going to bed. Beth is coming over in a bit. (she works 2nd shift) Going to do my best to ignore this stuff.
It's been a month since moving here. Time to reflect
It's certainly true that you sometimes need a little space to step back in order to analyze your life. Let me start by saying that I am incredibly happy right now. Happier than I've been in many years. Part of that is job satisfaction. Part of that is a new relationship. Part of that is being surrounded by friends at work that in sum total are the most competent & motivated people I've ever worked with. That rubs off.
I'm at a point in life (30 is only 8 months away) when many people are going through a crisis in self worth. I'm not. I've had an incredibly successful career so far. I've fulfilled my dream of living in Europe. I have friends around the world. I've purchased a house. I'm starting a relationship with someone who is stimulating, intelligent, funny, and crazy enough to date me.
But as I'm enjoying my life this month it is like a veil has been lifted from my life. You see, I moved to Germany in the final week of August 2001. I was sitting in a meeting when word reached us that the attacks of September 11th occurred. That horrifying event was a prophecy for the next 18 months I spent in Germany. My boss lied to me when I was hired. He didn't want me to do development work (or more generously, he didn't receive permission when he hired me to do development work) he wanted me to fix the broken equipment. A shitty technician job. I also got involved with a women who was simply not right for me. I was misled by the company, had to fight for even the basic equipment to do the job, struggled for any recognition. I sunk lower and lower into depression and didn't even realize it. The only thing that kept me sane was contact with my friends there; Cemal, Stef, Thomas.
I miss my friends in Germany. But I'm now working for a boss that values my skills, experiences, and abilities. He trusts me. My job is exciting and very challenging. He solicits my opinion ... and takes it into consideration.
I have friends here. John, Anshul, Adam, Laura. I'm making new ones.
Beth is becoming a very special part of my life. She is simply incredible.
I'm doing good. I'm happy.
And to all you assholes out there that have made my life hell in the past; Go Fuck Yourselves. I'm done with you.
Wow
Ok, this is getting more serious. I really like this woman. Everyday we find out more things in common. She even likes the movie Aliens!
But this whole first/second shift work schedule thing is going to be tough. She doesn't get off work until midnight and I have to be at work at 9 am. I guess that's what coffee is for :-)
I was walking through the halls today and found this PILE of equipment in the hallway outside our lab. This stuff usually has a lead time of several weeks. This stuff was ordered on Monday. Another sign that the economy is slow.
Either we're going to be best of friends, or something so completely serious that I'm scared.
Beth sent me a photo of her dog today (long story as to why she didn't show me in person.) Very, very cute. Some wierd breed that I've never heard of before. Looks like a mix btwn a chow and a shepherd. Sweet looking face. Can't wiat to roll on the floor with her. (thanks to Pat for introducing me to dogs)
The coworkers had fun today kidding us. One even called me Lance-a-lot. Oh, that's new ;-)
Ok, it turned out to be more romantic than I thought
Well, it seems that Beth is mechanically inclined. She had a good time helping me shop for cars. We were both laughing everytime a salesperson said "So, what kind of car are you two looking for?" and they would look at Beth and she would silently point at me :-)
After discovering that the local Volvo dealership only had a single 850 available and that 60 miles away. So we decided to go into DC to ogle the protesters. Some idiot asked me what was going on. I told him about the anti/pro war demos. He asked "Which war?" At this point Beth and I backed away as quickly as we could. One of the protestors turned to the idiot and asked him what planet he was living on :-)
Then I made her dinner.
Whole evening went very well. By the end we were looking at each other asking "Ok, when is the other shoe going to drop?" Well, we'll see.
Now we just have to survive our co-workers "kidding" around. I can give as good as I get. Looking forward to it :-)
Nightcall.
Had a really nice dinner tonight.
I met a co-worker for drinks after dinner tonight and had a great time. To be fair, it was after my work was over but since she's on second shift it was her 'lunch' time. It was really cool talking to her. Lot's of similar interests from science, politics, firearms (although she shoots a 10mm and I prefer a 9), humor, music. It's going to be real interesting ... and a little dangerous. Gotta go check the company handbook on the subject of dating a co-worker now ;-)
Tomorrow I'm going car shopping and Beth is going to help. Not exactly a romantic date, but a memorable one non-the-less.
Bedtime.
Dinner with intelligent folks
I had dinner with an old friend tonight. Uli is the guy that got me my last 2 jobs. He's the Veep for my firm and is responsible for bringing new business into the fold.
I'm now working with the newest aquisision(sp?) and it's a huge challenge. Unfortunately, some of our success is in the hands of others. No matter how good we do, or how high a margin we make, it this other group doesn't come through we fail.
Oh well.
Anyway, I had a great dinner. Uli is incredibly smart. 1 hour of talking to him is equal to a full semester of class at a first rate university.
I hope I can work for Uli someday.
g'night.
I hate office politics.
Yes, yes. I know that every office has them. I can deal with that because I can look the guy in the face and figure out what's going on. What I don't like about my company is that it spans 2 oceans and 3 continents. So someone in California is having a pissing match with someone in Germany who has something I could use (or don't want as the case may be). Then I just huddle in the classic "duck and cover" position under my desk with my laptop playing minesweeper. Bloody hell, I just want to get my job done. Well at least here my boss wants the same thing and is backing me up. A change from previous supervisors at least.
I picked up Project IGI2 last night. I fell in love with IGI last christmas when I was visiting my friends Pete & Lisa. I still play it when I need a break. So I load this puppy up and get ready to rock. Then my jaw drops as the screen rate falls to about 2/sec. Now I don't have a brand new video card but it does have 64MB and was top of the line 3 years ago. And it does meet their recommended hardware reqs. So I turn down everything and reduce the screen size. It becomes playable, but certainly not that enjoyable visually. So now I'm looking to drop about $300 on a new video card. Well, I'll probably wait until my house closes.
I'm starting to look for a car. I got the bill for the first month of the rental and it's almost 1800!!! I could have paid for most of the cost of a decent used car. Unfortunately I could take on a loan or any debt while going through the house buying process. Wouldn't have qualified for the loan. So next weekend (2 days before close) I'm going to go put a chunk of change down on a car. Thinking 97 Volvo 850. We'll see ;-)
Hasta.
Next part
Got some more info.
1) I got invited to some Heavy Metal concert in July. Cool. She's cute too. Well, we'll see what happens there.
2) My house appraisal went though. It came in 1K more than I paid. WhooHoo a 0.3% increase already! :-)
3) I got my bill for my rental car for the first month. OUCH! It would have been cheaper to BUY a used car a month ago and drive it for 3 months, then toss it in the Potomic.
4) Made a really good dinner tonight & I think I tortured a friend by doing it. Yes, I'm evil ;-)
5) Got one of our instruments set up and rolling. If I get the samples processed correctly tomorrow it could lead to a $5 million (yeah, that's with an "m") dollar deal. No pressure, not at all ;-)
Allright, I'm off to digest that dinner.
-Tumbleweed
There are really some cool things about American TV.
Honestly! It's true!!
But there are only a few. And one of them is Comedy Centrals "Who's Line is it Anyways"
I just spent the last 30 minutes laughing continuously. It's absolutely amazing.
Bit of an update
It's been a few days since I updated my Blog, so it's time.
1) I have a new toy. And it get's it own name. Honestly, it's the laptop computer my company is loaning me and they have a naming convention. But it'll get it's own secret name. I've chosen "Sisi" as short for "Sisyphus". Those familiar with greek mythology will get it immediately. The rest of you will have to type Sisyphus into Google and hit search. :-)
2) Had a good weekend in all. Relaxed mostly. Played Strategic Command: European Theatre against some guy in Italy. One of the best games I've played. He was very agressive and as as the Axis he managed to invade the Low Countries, France, Denmark, Vichy France, Spain, Egypt, and Iraq in that order. Very, very well done. By that time the war in USSR was heating up and I had pulled my troops back towards Kiev and Odessa. He then made his mistake. He invaded Turkey which gave me controll of the Bosphorous straights. I then did a historical anomoly and had soviet troops invade Egypt to cut his supply route. He also blundered by letting me build up complete air superiority in the West. By the time I landed US forces in France I had 6 Air Fleets and 2 Bomber formations. It was only a matter of time then.
3) I also made plans to visit friends in CA in June. I figure that I'll need a vacation by this point in time. Going to spend time on the coast, in SF, and maybe in Sacto. We'll see what happens.
4) That's it for now I guess.
I had an odd conversation with my boss today.
My boss is from Switzerland. Now the swiss have a universal conscription system for the military and you have to stay in the reserves until you are in your 40's. Further you keep your basic equipment at home. This includes a fully automatic assault rifle!! An odd side note is that my boss told me that the Swiss military rifle is the Khaleshnikov! I'm betting it was the AK-74 or AKM.
What brought this up was that my boss knows I like to go shooting. I like to hone my skills & also like the relaxing feeling of putting 50 rounds through the X ring. He and his wife are also shootists.
It's gonna be odd if we actually go shooting together someday.
I have evidence that the economy is slow.
I've been spending the last 2-3 days calling companies to solicit bids for equipment.
I have firm proof that the economy is actually slow.
Every firm that I call is falling over themselves to give discounts off the list price. This is normal. BUT when I make even the first counter-proposal they take it with almost no qualms! I got one company to give a 20% discount with almost no arm twisting! Another company asked me if a 10% discount was ok? This was AFTER we placed the order with no discount.
These companies have an inventory problem. And a revenue stream problem. They are desperate to move their inventory. They will even sell them at a paper loss so that they empty the warehouse.
This isn't good people. I'm just glad that my business is still growing and that we have good margins.
Ok, yeah yeah. I'm sure you all are tired of hearing about this. My house. I'm now going through the loan precess.
I didn't qual for the 5 year loan. That would have gotten me a 5.125 loan. But if I can scroung up another 1K in cash I will qual for a full 30 fixed at about 5.75. Will save me about 2K a year in mortgage payments. More books :-)
On the other hand, work is starting to get more interesting. No, that's not fair. It's been interesting only now I'm starting to actually do my job. My boss solicited my opinion on a 7 figure deal today. He even took my evaluation at face value. A damn good compliment. Give me a year and I'll give you my final eval of him.
I decided to go into DC today.
I was going to take the Metro in but couldn't find the station so I just stayed on the Freeway until I made it into the city. Took about 30 minutes. Not bad.
I found Arlington by accident and went in. I didn't realize how big it was. I saw the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier. Very moving. But overall I found the US cemetary at Normandy much more moving.
After that I went into the cityand walked through the Mall. Saw the Washington Monument and the Smithsonian. It's going to take weeks just to see the whole place!
I got to play good summaritan last night.
As I was walking to this little wine shop to read and listen to some good music I saw a couple of elderly women struggling to pull a spare tire out of their trunk. I asked if they needed a hand and they accepted. Spent about 20 minutes changing their tire and bid them adeiu. I hope they made it back to Baltimore ok. It was only one of those 3/4 sized tires.
The music wasn't so good, but there were some nice people at the cafe that I could chat with. So it was a plus all in all.
Today I'm going to go into DC and see some monuments and wander around. I saw Marine 1 flying today. It was a little funny to see the President's helicopter being followed about 100 meters by a Blackhawk.
I'm going to try to get into the city by riding the Metro. We'll see how that works :-/